Day 4- Rainbow Stream Lean-to to a sand beach on the shore of Nahmankanta lake. 8.5 miles

I had a motivational thought this morning: I think it's really awesome that nature can kick my butt so hard in such a short period of time. It's a nice little reminder than nature truly is more powerful than man. My heart has always wanted for humans to work with nature rather than against it. I was working against it yesterday- trudging through it being frustrated and angry at the mud, roots, and rocks. So today I have decided to try harder to work with nature and my body's nature instead of working against it.
The day was absolutely beautiful, but also very painful. It did not rain, there wasn't much mud, and I got to climb Nesuntabunt Mountain. From the top of the mountain I could see Mount Katahdin, which was over 15 miles away at that point. It was really neat to sit there looking at it off in the distance having had just climbed it a few days ago.
I took it extremely slow today, taking over 10 hours to walk the 8.5 miles. My right knee gave me such a difficult time today that while descending the mountain I had to sit down 4 times in order to cry. My trekking poles became more like crutches to me and I limped myself on down the trail. The 'Ole Man at the Appalachian Trail Lodge told me that physically, most people can do the trail. It's the mental aspect of the trail that can cause the most trouble for a hiker. Today I learned first-hand what he was talking about. My mind was acting like a seesaw. I kept thinking that I can't possibly do this trail- the pain was too much, my pack felt more like a punishment weighing down on my knees, and I just felt so exasperated and weak. On the flip side, I also kept thinking how the pain would get better- I just had to get through the wilderness and then I could rest and heal. To make matters worse, I figured out that I definitely didn't have enough food for the pace that I was moving at. I would have to move pretty quickly in order to get out of the wilderness without running out food.  I definitely saw the bottom of my soul today- it was quite possibly the lowest feeling I've ever experienced in my life.  It's really difficult to explain with words exactly how I felt today.
At the top of Nesuntabunt Mountain I was able to call Ryan for a few minutes and just cried as soon as I heard his voice. I was just completely overwhelmed by so many emotions. I calmed myself on the top of Nesuntabunt (the view definitely didn't hurt) and once again I had to take a deep breath and keep going.

The view from Nesuntabunt Mountain

I ended up finding a sand beach on the shore of Nahmakanta Lake and pitched my tent there. I sat and just looked out over the water for a long time. The vision of the water with frogs serenading me in the background calmed my soul, reminding me of why I am on this journey in the first place. It has already proven to be far more difficult and rewarding than I could've possibly imagined. I think it has been good for me to not be able to have contact with the outside world right now due to a mix of no service and low battery on my cell phone- this is my journey, and at this moment struggle, and mine alone. I had the entire day to work through the difficulties completely alone and it will make me stronger for it.
Haha on the funny side, I hung my bear bag for the first time tonight. I was so exhausted and I couldn't find a good branch around, so I only managed to get it about 12 feet off the ground. I'm pretty sure it gets a C on the bear bag grading scale- not sure if it'd do much good if it came down to it, but there it hangs for the night.